16 reasons why cows like Christmas
John W. Wright shares his 16 reason why cows like Christmas.
By Cow #2945
- Milkers get mittens for Christmas gifts— warm hands.
- Dairyman dresses up smart aleck dog and puts antlers on him. Takes him down a notch.
- Lots of Christmas cheer drank. Intensity is dialed down to ………“whatever”.
- Beef plant is closed.
- You hear a lot of great stories from guys that went to the Christmas party.
- No preg checks on Christmas Day.
- Big, tough, macho, toothless milk truck driver wears a Santa hat.
- Radio plays Christmas music instead of endless Los Lobos Caballeros en Rotterdam Remix.
- No flies.
- Christmas bonus checks make for a happy time for everyone.
- Extra feed from light headed feed truck driver.
- Milker’s alternative version of the 12 Days of Christmas song. It doesn’t rhyme but his unique use of the English language is something to behold……….and then forgotten.
- Christmas Eve is always a big straw day.
- Nutritionist lectures the dairyman on how important it is to pay attention to how he feeds his cows. Then gives him 2 lbs. of candy and a bottle of Schnapps–tells him to give it to his wife.
- 90 days until spring.
- Usually a cow in the manger scene. Not historically accurate but, Hey! Everybody likes a little recognition at Christmas, even a cow.